TVXQ!(동방신기) _ MIROTIC-주문 _ MusicVideo(뮤직비디오)

yeap, this is the song that got me loving them as five. Forever a Cassie~:D

school on a Saturday, you seriously have to be kidding me.

So just like what my title says, yes i had to attend school today.... to be honest i wouldn't go if there wasn't anything important, but since we had exams. So like why not. hahaha. i actually like the english exams, kinda. We had to write a story and i wrote a story, gosh felt like i was some author or some shit that rushed through everything. Seriously though, 2 essays in 1 hour 45. Bitch i ain't got enough time. Oh, am watching Three Days while typing, my Yoochun babyyyy~ so cutezz
 woah, my Park Yoochun so swag in that suit.

hehehe, i love you yoochun sshi.

Oh hello, about my life i've been doing well to be honest. Just a bit worried as i'm in exam month, as if i don't hate exams week enough, they give us exams month. gooody~ thank you high school, funny thing is i don't even take Bio, Chem and Physics yet i've to go through the whole month... don't let me start on Chinese. yes, i still take chinese. woot, chinese pride. ok bye have to sign off mum is bugging me




TOMORROW IS MOTHER'S DAY!!!! SO HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL LOVELY MOTHERS OUT THERE, ENJOY TOMORROW AS PEOPLE WORSHIP YOU AND TO GOOD THING IS YOU WON'T BE OLDER BY A YEAR! WOOOOOOO. OKAY BYE, LOVE YOU MUM!
to children who forgotten about mother's day, you fool.

Hello, i've returned.

Hello hello, so it has been weeks, months since i've last blogged, and i'm finally back.... exams are just around the corner and i'm here using the comp, whoop whoop. 2014 new year, new beginnings. Still can't believe it i'm in high school already, i still remembered my first day at bu3 as a form 1, just lost.... 3 years had peacefully passed and i'm still here! :) #thankful

In the past few years, i've sure matured in lots of ways and i've learnt how to i don't know not be so childish. I guess this is what puberty does to you, it changes you. About my appearances, i've most definitely changed, still having problems with my weight and height. I don't think i'm growing taller but i'm sure that i'm growing wider and wider each year, and i don't want that. I guess, during lent period i can sacrifice eating loads and deffo cursing. I've cursed to much at a young age i've ought to change.

About my life, long three of my bestfriends made new ones of course so i'm thankful. I wanna tell you a secret about me, i think i'm a magician. Why you ask? I had a bestfriend named Min Yuan and now she's all a sudden a stranger to me. I've nothing to say, i don't know if it's me that is not doing anything or her or maybe both. I feel like whatever she does has nothing in common with me anymore. We're just friends, she gets along with anyone and everyone except for me, her once called best friend forever, and i understand that she's busy with school work and stuff since she's in international school, but i didn't know our friendship would only last for 3 years, okay less than 3 years. About Amanda and Faye still the same school we say hi to each others and stuff, but i feel like they don't like hanging with me. I'm sorry, but i prefer staying low key whereas both of them love being in big groups, whenever i've a problem they would always want me to tell them my problems, and when i do they'll tell me stuff to make me feel guilty or they'll listen and just won't care afterwards. I made a conclusion, and i don't need them. I've my new ones. Even though i may dislike Jocelyn's attitude, i still appreciate her for being there for me.

About my love life, hah still single not that i'm complaining, it's better to wait for the right one now then regretting about it. But i've been sad this whole week all because of one person, name shall be kept private even though i'm sure no one reads this blog let's call him Bill... yeah Bill. So exactly last week my school had a musical and Bill wasn't the lead but a supporting role, still i went to support him. I did, just because of him but whatever i enjoyed the play even if it wasn't for him, wasn't so sure at first but it turned out great. Anyways back to the point, since he is my senior librarian and my crush i finally thought of it and said to myself since it's Bill's last year, why not talk to him wish him good luck and stuff, so i took all my guts just to wish him good luck and i even congratulated him and guess what? a fruitless respond, as if he doesn't know me at all, he read the message but didn't reply. How am i supposed to feel? Liked him since i joined the library as a probate two years later finally had the guts to facebook message him, nothing, nothing at all. I really thought he would've replied since we're acquaintances i guess i couldn't get my hope too high, no i can't unsent the message or turn back time, i feel so humiliated. Thanks Bill, i'll try to forget you and if i can't i'll just have to wait for you to leave the school so i can spend my last year being carefree and i won't need to think about anything so that i can ace my SPM.

saddest post ever.

hello lovely people who will be reading this? hmmm, i don't think anyone would innit? but i'm so posting for my purpose so.. i'll start! :D

so if my friends are reading this, the real reason why i didn't go for the sleepover to spend jellybean's last few days with us (before officially going to a new school) is; well, i know i was being selfish and stuff for not going, but with me not showing up will be the same right? playing with their ukulele and stuff, and i'll be there just swiping my phone hoping someone would be generous enough to spend their time with me or maybe they want to fucking shoot a fucking video and i'll be taking guard with how it goes. WELL I'M SORRY BUT I DIDN'T COME HERE TO HELP YOU FUCKING SHOOT A MV BUT ALL I WANT IS TO SPEND jelly'S LAST DAYS WITH US. thank you. i don't know, maybe this didn't happened, but i'm sure it was like this. cause spending out last time with each other with ukuleles is so much fun! oh, jolly!
the second reason, i'm disappointed in everyone. i'm done with everyone leaving me out in everything and picking up every sorry thrown at me. I HAD ENOUGH. yesterday was actually the first time i'd rather spend my time in the library with other librarians then being with them. to be honest, candy may drive me up the world at times everytime, but i'm really grateful to have her as my friend. sometimes. people sometimes just don't understand my hatred with her.
with everyone being sad and all that our group is splitting, i don't know yeah i'm sad but sometimes i wished i was the one leaving them. just want a new start before it's too late ya know? but with what's going on in my household, i'll just have to leave it aside.

and back with the sleepover thing, you guess can at least be a bit what's the word? right, considerate to tell me what's happening, but really not a sound from whatsapp. i bet you guys must be glad i'm not there.

wish: can i have better friends please. and a male best friend.

of course i'm grateful with what i have now since they don't make me feel entirely lonely infront of people. but that's not what i really want.... sometimes i too don't get myself, why am i still fucking complaining.

and next is, i don't get jellybean whenever i want to tell her something she'll pratically shut me off and the worst thing is she doesn't notice what she has done!

example, me: JELLYBEAN! I WANNNNNNAA TELL YOU SOMETHING
jellybean: oh. wait........... i'm doing the dishes
me: oh okay. i'll doing something else while waiting for you to finsih
jellybean: last message 3124 hours ago.
WTF, do you take that long to wash your dishes ?
okay fine, maybe you think this is quite a useless topic and you're thinking i could've easily just remind her and stuff but it's like she doesn't care, so to me what's the point of me reminding her that i was supposed to tell her, i'm done.

and grapefruit saying that she treats me best and whatever ;  bullcrap. i'm sorry she treats everyone the same, which is good to the others, but hello. i thought, ah never mind. i'm never anyone's first.

the only time i felt loved from Min Yuan's was when she suggested to buy a friendship necklace. hah, how nice..

does anyone even think of me for a minute, i don't even want to start with grapefruit and lemon as it's just a waste of time. i'm still waiting, you're very welcome. how long do i even need to fucking wait for 2 of my present that you guys even supposedly owe me, this again isn't a big matter. but, isn't this supposed to be like a symbol that you guys are my friends.

lemon, i said on the top i didn't wanna say much about you. but, i have to release this. can you please be less irritating. please, you irritate the shit out of me. and with everyone telling me we are the 4 best friends just accept her with how she is, well i'm sorry. i'm tired of putting everything behind and acting as nothing has ever happened, tbh with you not being my friend is like an arrow being taken out from my heart. the feeling of relieve.

i'm done.

name changed for the purpose of the author and her "friends". 

what a troll.

꿈.

finallehhh, the hols are here! :D and that only means, i'm closer to day when i can get on the plane and just leave Malaysia for a period of time. and only means, trials are coming and i'm totally not ready for a single thing. for this term i barely studied and yet i went in clueless and lost. how i wished mid-term didn't exists. i'm a total screwed up mess, as a student all i'm supposed to do is just study, study and be a good student. yet, i'm none of the above, i act as if i know everything or anything while in reality all i care or know about won't help me during the future, and thinking about things that will never happen. Is this how a teenager lives? why is that people who are pretty, popular, sociable, clever, and just perfect. how can they manage so many things? when i can barely do or am none. And i remember the face Ms Yeow gave Shawn when he was performing on stage, when am i gonna get that from someone? just because of my timid-ness and my lack of courage i can't do the things i want or dream of. i don't know but one thing i want to show people is my singing, i want people's comments. cause if no one comments, i will never know if i'm good at it or not and  that's kind of my dream at the moment. and sometimes, i don't even know why i'm so shy. is it because i'm afraid of what people may think if i be myself to people other than my friends. when am i gonna have the courage to do what i want to do? even if i do sound bad, at least i tried right? but now i barely tried yet i'm already thinking about the negative side.

so at the moment my dream is to sing infront of people. 

"You never know what you can do until you try."

도전하기 전까지는 네가 무엇을 할 수 있는지 절대 알 수 없다.

news flash!

i fell in love with 5 dorks aka B1A4. well, i liked them before but now the hole is deeper. woots~